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The Thing Vs. The Hulk

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The Orphanarium

The Set-Up:

The Fantastic Four Tower:

Mr.Fantastic looks out the window.


the Invisible woman and Human Torch run into the room.

"What!?!?! Dr. Doom? Galatacus?" The Invisible Woman asks.

"No. Some sort of green mutant." Mr. Fantastic tells them while looking at the wreckage outside the window.

"We gotta stop him!" The Human torch tells them.

"What about Ben?" the Invisible Woman asks.

"He'll know whats going on when he sees the wreckage." Mr. Fantastic tells her. "This is important."

Streets Of new York:

The Fantastic "three" are trying to stop the rampaging monster. The Human torch immedietly flys towards the beast shooting flames at him.

The monster grabs the Torch and breaks The torch's spine on his knee.

"JOHNNY!" Both The Inivisble Woman and Mr.Fantastic yell.

"HULK SMASH!" The monster roars.

Both the Invisible Woman and Mr.Fantastic run into the carnage. Both are killed.

10 minutes later:

"Hey guys. Did ya save some of whoever did this for me?" The Thing yells out as he runs down the street.

He stops dead in his tracks. He see's the dead bodies of his teammates on the ground, and the beast destroying the town.

"It's revenge time.." The Thing mutters.

NOTE: We know that this has already been made into a comic book. We were unaware of the comic when this match was thought up. If the commentary or set-up, or eventual fight relate to any fan-fic, future movie, or comic it's all completely coincidental. Our fight choice is limited to fights that have not been made into movies, or done by WWWF Grduge Match and/or CBUB. So just enjoy the fight.


The Commentary:

Brad: The Thing is made of rocks. Hulk crushes rocks. Case closed. Oh wait. You want a longer commentary. Well La dee Da da! I only want entertainment! I don’t care at all that the people who write this stuff might also have important stuff to do! Anyways…

The Hulk and The Thing are basically the same. Except that Thing has a conscience. The Hulk is just gonna mindlessly crush and kill. The thing would probably ask a family before he grabs their parked car and throws it at the enemy. Ok, The Thing IS quick to anger. But still. Even in a rampage if he so as sees his reflection he’ll stop and realize what he’s doing. He’ll miss is old self and slink into depression. This is when The Hulk will strike.

But even if The Thing has a large Abdullah Oblongata, and he doesn’t see his reflection, his anger is nowhere near The Hulks. The Hulk is basically concentrated anger! You just can’t compete with that!

…Plus Hulk has a sex life.

David: The Hulk is big but you know what they say , the bigger they are , the harder they fall. The Hulk may be strong but he has some BIG problems. He can turn into weak ass Bruce Banner at any time, he is dumb as hell , and he can go on a rampage easy. First I will talk about him turning back into Banner. After or during a fight , he turns back into banner , this will be easy, The Thing will take this chance and stomp on banners head and he will win.

Now we will talk about his stupidity. Hulk has been tricked into turning evil , and that’s no good is it? The Thing can trick him and then bash his brain out. Plus what about Hulk’s feelings? I wouldn’t be surprised if he turned back into weakling dork Dr. Banner after realizing he killed 3 innocents. Well ‘nuff said

Brad: Well. We're here in New York. The Thing and Hulk are fighting right now.

David: Oh yes Brad , it is a great fight

Brad: Well Hulk has jumped. He lands. DAMN! Even from the skies I felt that shockwave!

David: Wow he is going really high.

Brad: Good thing we’re in a helicopter.

David: I’m guessing The Thing will be a puddle by the end of the fight.


David: Here he comes back down.

Brad: Nobody, not even The Thing, could survive that fall.

David: He grabs onto a flag pole! But it won’t hold!

Brad: Woah. The Hulk’s shockwave is so big it’s going to hit us!



David: the flag pole snaps. But what!?!? Thing landed safely!

Brad: Now he’s running at the Hulk. Jumping. JUMP SIDEKICK! That’s a mighty powerful kick.

David: The Hulk goes flying! He crashes through an apartment building!

Brad: Gravity kicks in and he falls. He’s sliding on the pavement. Ouch. Won’t be Bruce Banner any time soon!

David: Hulk gets up.


Final Votes:

Hulk ( 54%)


The Thing (46%)

Brad: Thing’s standing in front of him.

David: Hulk gets up. He’s pissed now. He charges at Thing. Grabs him. Spins and…

Brad: WAM! Looks like Thing’s headin’ towards the stratosphere!

David: Looks like the fights over!


Well, this is a really close fight. Both on the surface appear to be unstoppable masses of anger, but they each have emotional baggage. Hulk has a chance of switching into wuss mode from the fact that what made him Hulk is hard to predict. Thing is made out of rock, but has a problem with self-image. Now the question is: Who's weakness will activate first? I think that Hulk will be able to take out Thing before he sees the awful things he's done and become wimpy Bruce. Thing can take a lot of damage, but he's probably going to be slightly off from seeing his three best friends getting killed, but he probably will have more anger. Hulk doesn't think. When he does, he becomes a loser. He'd probably view Thing as a huge threat and beat him before he looks at what he's done and transforms into Bruce. This will be good for him, 'cause the army is probably going to be there shortly. When they see a loser with no clothes on, surrounded by dead people, what would you think? "That guy killed them!" or "That guy almost died!"? Stupid army. They can get terrorists, but they can't get Hulk. -Chester M., a.k.a. xtishereb (no offence to anyone in the army)


Other Lesser Comments:

My predictions: Thing is about to kill Hulk. But he stops. "Am I no greater than this S.O.B?" Thing thinks to himself. While he's thinking Hulk K.O's him in one punch. - S.W.L.T.U.A (Someone Who Likes To Use Acronyms)


thing smart hulk dumb


It’s clobbering time

There's one thing the Thing dosen't have- Hulk Peter Griffin & Hulk Homer Simpson! The trio "Clobber" on Thingy. No offense.- J Dog


Rocks and big green people don’t mix, rocks fall apart, hulk win-Jesse


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