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Marvin The Paranoid Android vs. Strong Sad

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Marvin the Android vs. Strong Sad
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The Setting:
 
Strong Bad: And welcome back to Strongbadia's number 1 TV show! "Competition!" This week we bring you a weird competition. Who can depress the most people in a hour Let's meet the contestants.
 
Contestant Number 1: Gron Sad
 
Strong Sad: It's STRONG sad! Just like your STRONG Bad!
 
Strong Bad: Yes yes. Whatever.
 
Contestant Number 2: Marvin
 
Marvin: I'm feeling rather depressed right now.
 
Strong Bad: Good. Now spread that depression to others!
 
Now. We are releasing them into New York City. They've got one hour to depress as many people as possibal. Let's start!

marvinsad.jpg

The Commentary:
 
Brad: Marvin will obviously win this. Marvin is 100% deppressing. Strong Sad is happy at sometimes. Marvin is ALWAYS deppressed. Now it's not hard for him to spread his depression to others. He plugged himself into a space ship to talk to it. The ship commited suicide after listening to him. What's the most Strong sad's done? Make a whole halloween party leave in a slight depression. SUICIDE! That's truly depressing. He also has a secret weapon. The point of view gun. If he uses this he can easily just go around shooting people making them feel depressed. Strong Sad could what? Tell them a story about two little kids whose father has been turned into a robot? Strong Sad: 47 Marvin: 12,042
 
Riley: Well strong sad depresses people whenever he talks to them he could just take a megaphone or something.  Marvin had that gun thing but it will only work on men and most of the men will be on cell phones or in their offices. Also he never really talks he just says "I would tell you something but you wouldn't listen" so he wouldn't be able to do much. Also marvin is very very slow. He'd barely be able to get near somebody to talk to them! Go strong sad!

The Fight:

Brad: Well I’m here in Times Square with Marvin. He starts talking to people.

Marvin: Brain the size of a planet! Help navigate the ship Marvin! Go get the hitchhikers Marvin! Go get me some Ritz crackers Marvin! I wish they would all just die. It’s so depressing.

Brad: The few people who were listening just walk away, rolling their eye balls. No success for Marvin. Lets see how Strong sad’s doing.

Strong Sad: …and the little puppet fell into the fire along with his only friend, the greased rag. The resulting flames caused the house to burn down and everyone in it died.

Brad: 10 people walk away in tears. Current score: Marvin: 0 Strong Sad: 23

Marvin: This isn’t working. Hey…hey you!

Man: Yes?

Marvin: Everyone on Earth will die. Nobody really likes you and your all just pawns in one big depressing game of chess.

Man: You really put it all in perspective for me. I guess I’ll go lie down in an alley.

Brad: Hmm… Marvin’s doing good with his whole “your worthless” stories. Marvin’s just going up to random people and telling them that. It works on most people. Marvin’s strongly taking a lead. Let’s look at Strong sad.

Strong Sad: So the man decided to sacrifice his life so his children could live.

Brad: Man it’s close. Strong sad’s getting them by the bundle while Marvin’s getting a lot in a short amount of time. It could go to anybody. Hmm… 20 minutes left.

Marvin: I’m losing by five people. I better start speeding it up a bit. Umm… Miss.

Woman: Yes?

Marvin: Your mother just died.

Woman: What? How do you know that!?!?

Marvin: Well I’m an experimental prototype used by doctors to deliver bad news to relatives.

Woman: I didn’t even know she was in the hospital.

Brad: The woman runs off crying.

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Final Votes:

Marvin The Android 17 (52%)

Depresses

Strong Sad 16 (48%)

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Marvin (To some kids): I have to tell you…never mind. It’s all so depressing. I guess I’ll just give…

Brad: Time is up! Marvin is the winner by depressing 42 people! Strong sad only had 36!

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Viewer Comment Of the Week:

Though Strong Sad may be a shock-jock radio personality, and have a blog, and know tai chi, and rat out Strong Bad on a consistent basis, but there's not matching Marvin's attempts at pity. I mean, he spent over a million years waiting for people to arrive at a restaurant after they left him behind in the past, and then flew a ship into the sun, then landing on a swamp planet, destroying a bridge, then being abducted by killer robots, then somehow getting to a planet that has God's last message to his creation ("We apologize for the inconvenience"), all the while leaving a trail of people who need anti-depressants and extreme therapy behind him. And the ship. Who can forget that police ship? The one he made kill itself by talking to it, killing two cops in the process. If that doesn't say "Contagious Depression", I don't know what does. Depressing all people within 50 miles of New York City in an hour should be a snap for him. If not, well, I guess he can rock some iambic perimeter at Strong Sad's victory party, with Homsar. -Chester, a.k.a. xtishereb

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Other Lesser Comments:

Strong sad should win because I don’t know who Marvin is-Jesse ( unless your talking about Marvin the Martian, that’s different)

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Marvin sux

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Well what do we have here? A manically depressed robot and a big elephant footed loser who is constantly the butt of cruel joke. At least Marvin gets to fly through space.

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riley says also to much

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