Brad: Well I’m here in the sports box of the FNF arena. The contestants are walking
into the arena.
They enter. The Bell rings. Yoda raises his hand. E.T raises his glowing finger.
Yoda 37 (52%)
E.T 34 (48%)
Brad: E.T’s fingers rips off out of nowhere! Then his whole arm. His other arm. His
legs. One of his eyes. His kidney bursts out.
Yoda: Medic E.T will phone.
Brad: All I have to say is don’t mess with the force.
A note from Brad: The reason for the insane amount of votes was unfortunately not due to
popularity. But instead the E.T Grass Roots Campaign stuffed a ton of E.T votes into the voting box. There’s no way
of telling how many times they (he?) voted so they will remain. But we have figured out how to make it so you can only vote
once from the same IP address per match. Now enjoy the viewer comments. This will be the highest vote getting match for the
time being but we do know that all Yoda votes were legit. (Not sure about legit E.T votes.) - Brad
Viewer Comment of the Week:
Man, this seriously is no contest. None whatsoever. Not only is Yoda already a muppet, but he has THE FORCE! I
didn't see E.T. (the movie), but I'm sure it's a very wonderful 80's film, with an equally wonderful Atari game (for those
of you who don't know, the E.T. Atari game was pretty much the worst game ever. Rumor has it that all the unsold copies were
buried in a landfill in the desert). As far as I know, E.T. can run from the government, heal kid's hands if they get cut
by a saw blade, and fly. LAME. Not only can Yoda throw a saw blade with the force hard enough to cut OFF a kid's hand, kill
the evil government, and fly using the force, but he can kill anyone reading this. You think E.T. can dodge a lightsaber wielded
by a fast old-school guy with over 300 years of training and practice? Think again. As far as I know, the only people who'd
be able to stand up to that would be people who also have lightsabers, which E.T. is not one of. E.T. can adapt, huh? Think
he can adapt to being dead? In conclusion, Yoda, the short green force-powered muppet can beat the fiberglass outa E.T., the
family-friendly alien from the 80's. I just love these fights to the death. -Chester M., a.k.a. xtishereb
I believe they were buried next to the Jesus Christ Action Figures and a bunch of radioactive waste.
Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater Award:
It's merely the E.T. Grass Roots Campaign! Woo!
Okay you guys. Or guy. Or girl. Whoever you are Your votes will count this fight. But we’ve figured out how to only
let people vote once. You’ve also given us an idea for a fight. The E.T Grassroots Campaign vs. the Braveheart Jihad (There is no Jihad)™. -Eds.
P.S (There is no E.T Grassroots Campaign vs. Braveheart Jihad (There Is No Jihad) ™ fight)
Other Lesser Comments:
Here's how the fight goes; Yoda enters the arena & says, "Strong appear not you are." to E.T. Knowing E.T.,
a small alien who did nothing mean & was a tearjerker would say the only line he does know, "Phone home." Yoda then sees
E.T. life his finger up & notices it glow, so he draws his lightsaber & like the battle against Count Dooku, this
was no contest. Yoda wins easily. go Star Wars!- J Dog
Yoda would win this too easily. He's Yoda. And E.T.'s too slow and stupid to dodge.
You're kidding. Right?
In my opinion this entire contest seems like a joke. Yoda is the most powerful Jedi-Master in existence. He's lifted
a starship into the air, and tossed it aside. Less than a week before he died. Go back twenty years or so (TO Episode III's
time.), and you're faced with an unstoppable force. And if any one's a Star Wars fan they've seen Yoda with a lightsaber...
It's just insane. In any case, I'd be surprised if a single person voted for E.T. ::The Porqukat::
Surprised, ready you must get.
How is this even a contest!!?? Yoda will pull out a lightsaber, use the force to make E.T stay still and shred
him into little bits.-Jesse
ET could heal himself, yes, but Yoda will be too quick on him. SLICE SLICE SLICE!-An Eskimo