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Bugs Bunny vs. Roger Rabbit

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Bugs Bunny vs. Roger Rabbit
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The Orphanarium

The Set-Up:

"Welcome once again to he FNF arena!" The P.A system shouts.

The crowd cheers.

"This time we take some Cartoon characters and make them fight over the only substance that could kill them. Only known as "The Dip"." The voice tells the crowd.

"We have set up a giant vat of the stuff. We put a single balancing beam above it. Two toons will fight on that beam, trying to knock their opponent into the dip, using giant Q-Tips!"

The crowd goes insane with cheering.

"Let us meet our combatants. First up, everybody's favorite rabbit...BUGS BUNNY!" the voice shouts.

"Eh'. What's up doc?" Bugs says chewing on a carrot.

"Our next was recently accused of murder. Let's meet...ROGER RABBIT!" The voice shouts.

"BUNNIES! TAKE YOUR PLACES!"

 

bunnies.jpg

The Commentary:
 
Brad: Anyone who has seen a Bugs Bunny cartoon knows that Bugs is the one harming his enemies. Anyone who has seen the beginning of Who Framed Roger Rabbit knows that Roger is the one who gets hurt. The Sylvester or Tom the cat type character. Except not trying to kill anything. But if we put the logic together Bugs always wins. Roger always loses.

Lets not forget that Bugs is a master of disguise. He can convincingly pass himself off as a human woman. Before the match Bugs could dress as Jessica Rabbit. Roger’s human, yet toon, wife. Roger being as dumb as he is would actually believe it’s his wife. Bugs could then just pick him up, kiss him, and throw him off the edge!

Speaking of Roger’s IQ, he won’t notice when Bugs is up to one of his tricks. Bugs could offer him something to drink. Little will Roger know it will make him fly in the air like a rocket and land safely in the dip. Oh wait, that would kill him. Well then Bugs would still win! Roger just doesn’t have the record, brain, or strength to compete with the greatest Looney Toon of them all.

Riley: Ok, Roger will beat bugs for these reasons. 

One he can take any pain because he is a toon. We've seen him slapped around, and have a refridgerator smashed on his head. A giant Q-Tip won't be a big deal. 

Two he already has had experience with "The Dip". He survived. Mainly because of his great abilities to hide. He can squeeze throw anything! He could find a hole in the wood and hide there! The he could get out through another and push Bugs off in a surprise attack!

Three he will make bugs laugh to death. Roger can make anyone laugh! Especially toons! He actually killed some toons by making them laugh!

I believe Bugs Bunny will put up a really tough fight but in the end I think his previous experiences with "The Dip" will prove fatal to Bugs.

The Fight:

Brad: Ok. The fight has started.

Bugs: Eh’ what’s up doc’?

Brad: Wow. No one expected that. Anyways Bugs Tries to swipe Roger out from under his feet.

Roger jumps. He makes a downward slash at that! Bugs falls! He grabs the ledge and gets back on. He stabs at Roger.

Daffy: That’s DEEEESPICABLE!

Brad: DAFFY! What are you doing here?

Daffy: Why watching the fight of course. WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO!!!!!


Brad: Yea. Well I think there’s some Ritalin in the drawers…

Anyways The too are swinging at each other.

Daffy: WOO WOO WOO!!!

*Window Shatters*

Brad: Daffy flew through the window!

He lands in the dip.

Daffy: GAAAAHHH!!!

Brad: That’s a relief.

Roger’s staring at Daffy disolve.

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The Results:

Bugs (73%)

Dunks

Roger (27%)
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Brad: While Roger’s staring Bugs pushes him in! Now THAT’s despicable!

Bugs: Ain’t I a stinker?

Brad: Well that concludes this weeks fight! Check back next week when…

Porkey: Tha…That…That’s all folks!

 

Viewer Comment Of the Week:

My vote goes to Ephram the Retarded Rabbit!

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Other Lesser Comments:

Sorry, guys, but as much as Roger Rabbit has handled (including in the famous cross-over "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?") I have to go with Bugs. Think about it. He has survived Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Taz, and even a competition with Daffy. As a side note, the anvils shall start dropping in about 34 seconds (PLANG!) I think that started when I begun this post. J Dog- Why is Mimi such a brat?

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Live from the basement of my cousins' basement, it's the Chester M. comment! I think I saw that Roger Rabbit movie. Wasn't too good. I think he was also in some kinda bad video game. Bugs Bunny was featured in the music video of "Shake Your Coconuts" (not as good as "Move your Feet", but still good.) I guess. Bugs is also old-skool, and except for big beat, old skool beats nu school anyday. (Broken Beats 4 life!) Now, it's 10:30 at night, so I'm not that funny, but here's what would happen I think: Bugs: Ehhhhh, what's up doc? Roger: <insert movie quote here> Guy In Stands With Barret M82A1 (deadly sniper rifle): lol im kool :D :D :D (Guy does headshot at Roger) Announcer: HEADSHOT! Dan Rather: Show me the bunny! (Guy does a headshot on Dan Rather) Announcer: HEADSHOT! (Guy does a headshot on Brent who was walking out of the bathroom) Announcer: HEADSHOT! UNSTOPPABLE! - Chester M., a.k.a. xtishereb (You gotta give me comment of the week for insulting Brent! Just don't tell him.)

Wel/ sorry. But you can’t compete with the power of…A HUMOROUS FAMILY GUY REFERENCE! Also be warned…Brent is back from camp. He says he’s also picked up some tips from a hockey goalie while he was there…-Brad The Master Of “…”’s

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Bugs will win beacause hes not only a rabbit!HES A BUG! Hell fly around,and if he gets knocked down,hell fly up before he hits the dip!:P

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Hmm...god, this is tough. Decisions, decisions. Bugs Bunny keeps outsmarting hunters and teamed up with Michael Jordan to defeat a bunch of giant aliens in basketball. But Roger is braver. He helped Eddie Valiant defeat Judge Doom, an evil scientist that found out how to kill a cartoon character. Dip, obviously. I mean, Doom nearly destroyed all of Toon Town with his dip. Also, Roger has a hot girl, Jessica, on his side. And Roger has a powerful weapon. Wine. One sip of it and he'll go nuts. He'll smoke out and blow Bugs right into the dip. Bam. Bye. bye, Bugs. And Roger Rabbit is the winner! -Deven711

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AHHHH!! BUNNYS!!! KILL THEM!!RAWR! Both bunnys must die cause they are bunnys, and since they are bunnys, they need to die, you now, since they are bunnys. so none win. cause they a re bunnys which must die. DIE!! *kills both* Muhahhaha losers...-Psycho

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The only way to hurt Bugs is to not be in the fight (being the author) Since Roger is in the fight, there is no concieveble way he can put Bugsy down, and when Roger runs into explosives, its over-Wateva

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