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Jason Vs. Johnny

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Note the following fight is a battle between a Comic Book serial killer and a movie psycho slasher. Be warned.

"It's a glorious day at the FNF arena!" A voice says over the loudspeaker. "Now for The fight!"

"On The Left, Johnny!"

The crowd Cheers.
 
"On The Right, Jason!"

The crowd cheers again.

"These two psychos will fight to the death just for your amusement! FIGHT!"

jasonjohnny.jpg

The Commentary (Special Joint Commentary!)

Brad & David:

Jason wins this hands down. Even if Johnny does manage to kill Jason once, he'll just regenerate! Eventually Johnny's gonna tire out. That's where Jason's advantage comes in. He's not mortal. Johnny is a human. He is prone to human weaknesses! No matter how fit he is Johnny will eventually get tired. Jason, to me, doesn't even look human! He never gets tired. He slashes and slashes but not once do we see him take a break and get some water!

Even if Johnny manages to permantly kill Jason. (At least for the time being) He'll still have to deal with Jason's mom. Either way Johnny loses in the long run. Remember what his mom did after some camp counselors accidentally didn't watch him swim and he drowned? His mom killed them and then almost all the campers. Now what would happen if someone PURPOSLY killed her son? Not pretty.

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Jason is immortal. He has survived gun shots , being burned , sharp objects , and he even went up in to the earth's atmosphere. He is super strong , and in Jason X he punched right through steel. He can regenerate and has killed possibly thousands. Jason wins. Johnny should just run like hell.

Seriously. All of Johnny's victims are the ones unfortunate enough to meet him. Jason just comes out of nowhere and kills you. Johnny, he tortures. Jason, he just slashes you up into pieces. Example:

jason.gif

Besides. Johnny looks like a teenage boy. Jason looks like a disfigured Body Builder. Johnny just can't compete with that.

Riley & Angela: Nny is awesome! For those of you who don't know Johnny (or Nny) he is Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He dies and yet he goes to heaven then is sent back down to hell. But he comes right back. He can’t be permanently killed! Like Jason. He is also much more creative than Jason. He can kill almost anyone with anything. He disembowled a policeman with a spork)

He is a Suicidal Manic...but that is because of his evil doughboy friends. Nny has brains, he is always thinking and he always has ideas. He will have Jason in his next Die-ary entry for sure.
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Ok, I like both Johnny and Jason, but if I had to chose who would win a fight to the death between the two of them , I'd have to choose Nny [JTHM]. Although I do adore Senseless Killing machines like Jason, Nny has A really good reason to kill. Nny just wants to rid the world of asses, and I don't know who the hell Jason is trying to get rid of. Nny has more of a personality to. Jason’s weapon of death is a machete. Now, Machetes are awesome and all, but cutting peoples heads off and cutting people up to kill them is kind of repetitive. Nny likes to torture his victims first and make them think about what they have done and how much of an ass they were to him. Nny kills in hundreds of different ways, and with different weapons. Jason just kills by slicing them up continuously using the machete.

Nny also has some mental issues and he is suicidal. He has seen Satan and that adds to all the fun. Although Jason comes back from the dead and crap, Nny is almost impossible to kill, even when he tries to kill himself, something always goes wrong and he never dies. He has died once when he accidently shot himself but he came back from the dead after a visit to Heaven and Hell. Nny also has some "friends" like Nailbunny, Mr.F***, and Psycho dough boy. So, Nny will rule this fight, He will just kill Jason, and then go get a Brainfreezy.

THE FIGHT!:

Brad: I’m all by myself this week. Well the fights just about to start.


Brad: Ok. It’s started.

Brad: Jason immediately raises his machete above his head. Johnny runs to the sides of the arena where the walls are armed with weapons.

Brad: Johnny garbs a…cheese grater?

Brad: Jason Slices down on Johnny!

Brad: So Johnny’s dead?

Brad: Well I guess… WOAH! The ground just opened up and Johnny comes out armed with a red pitchfork! He stabs Jason!

Brad: Jason Is hurt. But he’s still fighting. He starts slicing like crazy with his machete!

Brad: Johnny’s avoiding. He grabs a shot gun off of the wall.

Brad: He shoots Jason. No affect. Jason Slices Johnny’s head off.

Two hours later and a blood-soaked audience/ arena later:

Brad: Ok. Jason’s been stabbed through the heart with a bayonet for the FIFTH time today!

Brad: Jason Slices Johnny’s head off. AGAIN! Man. Violence DOES get boring after awhile!

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Results:

Jason (72%)

Slashes

Johnny (28%)
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Brad: Wait. Johnny’s not coming back? Ok. Fight goes to Jason! Lets get out of here before he DOES come back!

VIEWER COMMENT OF THE WEEK:

Slaughter to the finish. Johnny, crazy ass white guy who gets revived all the time vs. Jason played by big black guy who also gets revived all the time. Lets just say that it would take a long ass time for one of them to permanently kill the other one. But any way. Jason wins eventually slashing Johnny's head open beyond repair. Ohh well good try Johnny. Kevin wrote this one.

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ki ki ki ki ki ah ah ah ah ah. This will be the last thing Johnny will ever hear. Seriously, this is even more mismatched than Godzilla VS Bambi!- An Eskimo: Free raw Fish for everyone!

Yeah. It is. Bambi would kick Godzilla’s ass! -Eds.

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*sigh* Only two page worthy comments this week. (NOTE. The comments get posted due to humor. Or how entertaining it is.) - Eds.


 

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