The Waterboy Vs. The Longest Yard

The Set-Up:

Brad: Uh. Hello Football fans! Welcome to the FNF Arena. The Arena is usually used for Mortal Combat (AKA, Fights to the death), but we have it set up for a very special football agme today!

Riley: That's right. The Mud Dogs, a College Football team who recently won the Bourbon Bowl with help from Bobby Boucher, The teams star tackler and Waterboy. They're taking on the Mean Machine! A Team of prison convicts from the Texas Pen who recently beat the guards of the same prison.

Brad: I understand they're being allowed to play on good behavior. They have their stra Quarterback, Paul Crewe who was arrested recently for some sort of Drunk Driving incident. Well, LET'S PLAY BALL!

Riley: Wrong sport.

Note: This is Adam Snadler's remake of The Longest Yard. That way the match-up makes sense. Two football playing Adam Sanmdler characters in a football game.

LIVE COMMENTARY! (Straight from the sports box):

Brad: Well this is easy. College Students Vs. Convicts. I gotta say convicts.

Riley: The college students were trained by a coach though.

Brad: Well the convicts were trained by a Famous NFL quarterback.

Riley: So? Have they played against other trained teams in a real football season?

Brad: They don't need to. These guys have spent years spending their convictions in the exercise yard. They'll trample over the weakling college students!

Riley: Two words. The Waterboy. He would take those guys out so badly! He’s got an entire town cheering him on!

Brad: Well of course beyond being trained by a famous NFL Quarterback they are also coached by a famous NFL coach! Who somehow wound up in Jail. Forget how but anyways that's not the point. Even The Waterboy can't compete with that!

Riley: Well The Waterboy can pretend his opponent is somebody he hates and an tackle them, and these guys are convicts it shouldn't be too hard for him to do that.

Brad: Hey. He tackles them, THEY STAB YOU! Well at least after the game. Besides They got a guy who can punch his fist against a concrete wall and make a large dent!

Riley: But how fast do you think that guy can run?

Brad: Pretty damn fast. This is one of those Maximum Security Prison guys.

Riley: Oh.

Brad: Not so sure of your side now, are you?

Riley: Nope…

Brad: Well I suppose that ends this commentary. Now folks at home...Vote! Your all we have!

Sorry. How this fight went will be a little late. It should be up on Sunday or Monday. Vacation weekend...Well Until then you can read the new fight and this fight's comments.

Final Votes:

The Mud Dogs (Waterboy) (52%)

Beats

The Mean Machine (Longest Yard) (48%)

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Viewer Comment of The Week:

After several weeks of not checkin' out this site, xtishereb is back with NEW GRAMMAR CAMOFLAUGE! (tm) So, now the question is which team sucks less? I didnt see Longest yard but I heard it was kinda a let-down. I didnt really like The Waterboy either, so now which one do i pick? Well, Id have to go with one of my favorite excuses: They both suck. Yeah, theyre able to beat the best of their leauge, which probably isnt that great of an honnor. Its like saying your the best of people who have severe mental disadvantages. In other words, you suck, but not as much as everyone else. Though i suspect that they both have sufficent skills (or lack therof) to provide an interesting match, i'm not too sure this would be a game with points. The winner would probably either be the team that crushes the other one (Mean Machine) or the team that does not forfiet due to probation violations (Mud Dogs). So, while I will be watching this, I wont be rooting for either team. I will, however, probably get the closest seat to the sidelines as possible and yell insults at the players, ranging from "Ive seen kids at my school catch/throw/kick/run better!", "Wow! A screen play! I sure hope they don't know (louder)youre doing a SCREEN PLAY!" and my all-time favorite, "Wow! Look at that naked chick go!" -Chester M., a.k.a. xtishereb. (It was hard using bad grammar, I might make a fake fight image this week of Xiao Xiao vs. Jase from Killing Spree vs. Dynasty Street Black Stick vs. me with 2 blue Deagles) P.S. How 'bout a rain of BLOOD! No, wait, that would really screw up the PH level and totally piss the groundskeeper.

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Other Lesser Comments:

Hmm. Tough contest. I haven't put much effort into both films, but I do enjoy how big of a moron Adam was in that car crash sequence in "Yard". Anyhoo, with two Adams, we are screwed! Final Score: Who gives a... - J Dog (Voted for Mean Machine)

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In The Waterboy Rob Schneider's amndatory cameo was some lunatic who shouted "CUT HIS F****** HEAD OFF!" when the opposing teams coachw as at knife point. Later in Longest yard Rob Schneider's cameo was as the same character. He was one of the good behavior convicts allowed to go to the game. ANyoen else wonder who he'll be cheering for? - S.W.L.A (Someone who likes acronyms)

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The Water boy is no longer a factor! He has nothing to get mad about anymore! Hes married with the love of his life, etc. Unless Bobby finds Vicky cheating on him, the rage aint gonna happen. Of course, If his mom disguises (the wildlife killer) thats a whole new ball game.

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Although The Waterboy is a funny movie, it doesnt mean that they will win, id bet that prisoners will win, they need to get there aggresion out so they will probably kill everyone....-Psycho

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This Longest Yard is a remake. Remakes are a type of clone. How long did Digimon hold up against Pokemon? Hom long did Bubsy The Bobcat hold up against Sonic The Hedgehog? How long did Battlestar Galactica hold up against Star Wars? See,clones are inferior to real things!Which explains why Waterboy shall win.-An Eskimo:Raw Fish sold seperately.

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The Mud Dogs have Bobby Boucher, a big, mean tackler on their team. The Mean Machine is made up of big, mean tacklers. They have one who's a big, powerful, retarded guy who tackled someone so hard he made the guy crap himself. They can do the same thing to Bobby and injure him so much, his career would come to an end. Also, the Mud Dogs are a bunch of underdogs who can only win with Bobby on their team. So all the Mean Machine has to do is tackle Bobby and knock him unconscious, leaving the Mud Dogs defenseless. Therefore, the Mean Machine will totally crush the Mud Dogs in a score of 70-0 with ten touchdowns.

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The Mud Dogs have Bobby Boucher, a big, mean tackler on their team. The Mean Machine is made up of big, mean tacklers. They have one who's a big, powerful, retarded guy who tackled someone so hard he made the guy crap himself. They can do the same thing to Bobby and injure him so much, his career would come to an end. Also, the Mud Dogs are a bunch of underdogs who can only win with Bobby on their team. So all the Mean Machine has to do is tackle Bobby and knock him unconscious, leaving the Mud Dogs defenseless. Therefore, the Mean Machine will totally crush the Mud Dogs in a score of 70-0 with ten touchdowns. -Deven711

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